Monday, November 28, 2005

An Open Letter II

Dear Teachers, Older Relatives, Neighbors and Solicitous Businesses:

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We have enough pencils, thanks.

I'm a single dad with two kids and three jobs. I've taken this week off to clean the house and get ready for Christmas. So far, I've done the bathroom and the living room. That mittfull of graphite above is my take so far. I've still got the dining room, kitchen and bedrooms to go.

Not to mention the dozen or so that are rattling around in the bottom of each of their book bags.

We're fine with the ol' #2's.

While I'm on the subject--when did pencils become gifts? The kids came home from trick-or-treating with four or five pencils each. They appear in Easter Cards. On top of birthday presents. Teachers give them out as prizes. Enough!

So, if you see a tired pirate and two excited kids bouncing around near you, hide the graphite. I'll just have to pick them up later.

Thanks

Yeharr

9 Comments:

Blogger Jessica said...

Mail them to me!

I have a box full of golf pencils at school that I guard like a hawk because students never seem to have enough pencils (i.e. a single one). A student today was literally writing her homework assignment with an empty ballpoint pen, pressing hard enough so that she could make a rubbing at home and remember what it said. Pathetic, yes.

9:14 PM  
Blogger United We Lay said...

I NEVER give away pencils. I'll take the ones Jessica doesn't want. Gid, what I wouldn't give for enough pencils!

10:34 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Perhaps no one has any damn pencils because the Pirate is hording them all?

5:31 AM  
Blogger Colleen said...

i can use the #2s for my evaluations. the students steal them and then the department is left with nothing!!!

11:01 AM  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

I found five more in the dining room.

Get them out of here!

Yeharr

5:56 PM  
Blogger mal said...

I know what you mean, I think we have pencils breeding in our drawers when we close them and it gets dark. Scaryyyyy

10:13 AM  
Blogger elaine said...

Pens and pencils (and lighters)breed. So, if you start with two, you will soon have 5 then 10 then 20.

If you start with one, it will
a)whither and die of lonesomeness; or
b)run away to find love.
Either way you are left with none.

5:27 PM  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

Close, elaine--the singular pencil or lighter is a useful object; therefore, when left alone, it turns itself into an unmatched sock.

Yeharr

11:17 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Pencils multiply like rabbits but when you need one, you can't find one!

8:47 PM  

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