Monday, December 18, 2006

Alone


My street ends in a'T' inter- section. The crossing street borders a school with a nice little playground. Yesterday morning, as I was headed to a meeting, I saw a little boy on that playground. He couldn't have been more than three years old. He was having a great time on the jungle gym, climbing and sliding, and jumping, in the pure joy so few of us non-three-year-olds rarely experience.

He was completely alone.

I went immediately into Daddy mode. Where are his parents? Why is he alone? Who was supposed to be watching him?

I turned the corner and watched for traffic, a place to park, the little boy, and any signs of a parent, all at the same time. By now, he had slid down the slide, and was laughing and loving life so much that he had to jump up and down in joy. I saw him look for someone, someone who he assumed was there to share that joy, someone...

No one.

He looked this way and that, turning, turning, panic visibly rising as he suddenly realized he was completely alone.

I slowed to a crawl.

But suddenly, from behind a wall--surprise! Daddy and big sister came out of hiding.

I continued on my way, relieved that the boy was safe.

But wondering, at the same time.

Because I remember. I remember one time in a department store, stomping through it and looking at all the wonderful bright Christmas decorations, seeing things that looked so pretty and bright and I wanted it and...

No parents. My folks let me wander off alone, following me, seeing how long it would be before I realized that I wasn't with them any more. But there was a moment of panic. Of dread. Of the sudden realization that I was alone.

How long it lasted, I have no way of measuring. In my mind, it was hours. It was more likely seconds. They wanted me to learn a lesson. I was about three.

Is this cruelty? Is this appropriate? Is three too soon to learn the lesson that you have to be aware of your surroundings?

And is there a better way of teaching this lesson?

yeharr

11 Comments:

Blogger Timmy said...

I think my mom did that shit on purpose. Except she would never pop up from somewhere, I would have to hunt her down.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Timmy said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Heidi the Hick said...

I have memories from before age 5 of being outside and totally unaware of any adult supervision.

I'm often critcized for being an overprotective parent but this stays with me: I grew up on a working farm for the first 13 years of my life and never got run over by a tractor.

I don't remember any harsh lessons in not wandering off on my parents (probably because it was drilled into my head to never ever hide in the corn field!) but... when she was 4 my daughter disappeared in a zellers store and shut the whole place down for ten minutes. When an employee found her, she looked up with her big eyes and announced that she was just looking for her mother.

She really couldn't figure out why I was so upset.

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are such a good dad/neighbor/writer.

I dread that moment with my own kids when I wonder where they've run off to and fear the worst.

12:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are such a good dad/neighbor/writer.

I dread that moment with my own kids when I wonder where they've run off to and fear the worst.

12:39 AM  
Blogger Åsa said...

Balloon Pirate! Why would parents ”teach a lesson” of feeling abandoned to a three year old?! That is horrible! Parents are supposed to protect you from bad stuff, not make sure you know how bad stuff feels.

Nice of you to check-up on the little boy. It’s not unheard of that children get abducted – right? Some people just do not think.

3:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the lesson can never come to young. As safe as our society is, there are still dangerous people looking for prey.

We can not and should not expect the kindness and concern of strangers to cover our children.

10:14 AM  
Blogger Dark Lady said...

I don't have an answer to this but a question.

Did you wander off again?

11:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we did it with our kids once each when they would bugger off in the store and stuff

there's only so many times you can tell a child that they need to stay close until they need to "get it"

they don't feel abandoned - they feel lost

then you explain that they were safe and that they needed to think about how they felt when they were lost

then they stay with you

i think it's a saw off between the child's need for comfort and the parent's need for comfort and safety

not everything in life is for the child...

3:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we did it with our kids once each when they would bugger off in the store and stuff

there's only so many times you can tell a child that they need to stay close until they need to "get it"

they don't feel abandoned - they feel lost

then you explain that they were safe and that they needed to think about how they felt when they were lost

then they stay with you

i think it's a saw off between the child's need for comfort and the parent's need for comfort and safety

not everything in life is for the child...

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

damn blogger double post

4:53 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home