Monday, May 28, 2007

Trouble in Texas

Or perhaps not.

The good Lt. has been given his PCS (Permanent Change of Station), and in October, will be reporting to a small Air Force Base in Texas, where he will command a squadron and will be, in effect, the second in command of the entire base. It's a position normally given to a Captain. You'll notice my son's name is not Captain Trouble.

Cool for him. His first real challenge, and a chance to show them what he's made of. Everybody's happy.

Well, no.

There's a problem: His girlfriend.

People often underestimate his girlfriend because she's got a bright, sunny disposition, tries to see the positive side of everything, and has a voice that sounds like she's eleven years old. When she was searching for a house for the two of them to move into, she was in Virginia, and he was in Iraq. She had to repeatedly assure her potential landlord that it wasn't a crank call from some preteen in DC.

She's also a shrewd businesswoman who misses few things, and knows her shit big time. When she bought her new car, she had another dealership on her phone, and was playing them both against each other. She got a great deal, which included a new paint job simply because she didn't like the car's color. She has major plans, and isn't afraid to go after them.

And none of them involve living in a West Texas border town.

So there, you see, is the dilemma.

My son has already decided the military will not be his career; he wants to be a cop. He likes the attention his abilities have brought him, but in the end, he has decided, policework is his dream. However, there is the small detail of his commitment to the Air Force to consider.

Plus, his girlfriend doesn't really like the military, to put it mildly. Right now, the staff in the little border town are putting together ideas and job situations that his girlfriend might find attractive. But she has her own dreams. One of the dreams involves studying in London, and opening a business there.

But no matter how good a cop my son is, I doubt he'd be able to get a job at Scotland Yard.

So there's conflicts right now. He's been out looking at engagement rings. I've counseled him against dropping a ring on her as an ultimatum. He's also said flat out he'll leave the Air Force if necessary. I've told him that if he's prepared to do that, make sure he's leaving it for a committed relationship.

It would be nice if all the pieces of one's life would just fall into place, and folks could just live happily ever after. Unfortunately, lives rarely work out that way.

And maybe that's a good thing.



Blogger United We Lay said...

that's a rough decision to make. Sometimes it's better to separate, if even for a while, rather than have one person give up their dreams. I hope it all works out for them.

8:30 AM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Good thing indeed, it's the complexities that make it what it is.

Otherwise we'd all be snails.

8:40 AM  
Blogger terry said...

oy. glad i'm not the one who has to make that decision.

though i think united we lay is right. maybe they need to be apart for awhile...

or i wonder if she can handle texas temporarily? a few years, maybe, then on to the next thing?

2:47 PM  
Blogger cadbury_vw said...

my mom and dad lived about 7 hours apart for over a year after they engaged.

about 50 years later...


there is a school of thought in many religions that says that life's tribulations are placed there to allow us to learn something we need to learn

i always hope that the case when situations like your son's come along

4:48 PM  
Blogger Guy Wonders said...

It's too bad they couldn't give him more options than just Texas. Of course, if the military wanted him to have a bright, intelligent and career-oriented partner, I suppose they would've issued one to him. . . .

I hope it works out, too.

9:26 PM  
Blogger Heidi the Hick said...

This seems a lot more complex than the classic Rock Dog Meets Farmer's Daugher And Promises To Never Sell Her Horse And Buy Her A Farm Someday But In The Meantime Must Live In Burgs To Work In City Where Horses Are Not Allowed In Backyards...

I do hope they find a solution that works for them.

9:52 PM  
Blogger Colleen said...

ah yes
the art of compromise

the hubs and i played that game when i was getting my doctorate in miami and he was here in atlanta.

tough decision and i'm glad i don't have to be any part of it

10:30 AM  
Blogger Notsocranky Yankee said...

I would also recomend that he leave the AF with a job HE wants to do. What if being a cop doesn't work with her plans either? If she doesn't have a definite plan for England right now, then she needs to go to Texas (or stay in Vegas) while they figure out what to do next.

I also think marriage would be a mistake right now. They both need the flexibility to manage their careers.

8:47 AM  

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