Monday, August 07, 2006

A Phrase I Wish I Had Never Heard My Ex-Wife Utter

"It's a hickey."

STBEW had come over to watch the kids because I had a meeting. I noticed these marks on her neck, and had asked her what they were. It wasn't until the words were leaving my lips that I even considered that they might


Hickeys? Jeebus.

What's worse, she took this as an opportunity to divulge a bit more about me. The following is the conversation we had as I drove her back to her apartment. Anything in italics was not spoken aloud.

"I think we broke up this morning."

"Oh?" I don't care.

"He was getting too close."

"Oh." Don't care don't care.

"He wants to know where I am all the time."

"Ah." Make it stop please make it stop.

"I just need my space."

"Hmm." Space? You need space? This is, by my count, the third guy you've been with since you left me. One was a toothless black man. One was a kid younger than our oldest son. And you're just now thinking you need space?

I don't know why I married her.

Oh, yeah. The sex. It was toe-curling.*

I feel awkward about all this. It's truly none of my business if she's with someone or not. Or with two or three people. What I'm fighting is the urge to tell her things. So I blog about them.

Here's what I didn't tell her: "It worries me that you constantly need to be with someone. I think it's another part of a mental illness that manifested itself partly in your addictions to drugs and alcohol. I think that you're never going to get healthy until you address those issues.

"And I don't care that you're having sex with other men. I don't even care if it's kinky. Lord knows you do it well. But for cripe's sake...a hickey? You're 46, not 16."

There. I feel better now.


*In case you're wondering, yes, even the ones I no longer have curled.


Blogger Colleen said...

what is she in high school

oh, and no bikini pics dude
it was GERMANY not the riviera
no beach
no water

there is one pic of me in is in the heidleberg castle

9:35 AM  
Blogger Dark Lady said...

I admire your restraint in handling the situation.

10:16 AM  
Blogger Heidi the Hick said...

Holy crap.

First of all, I don't know if I've mentioned this, but you are a hell of a writer.

Second, you have rock solid self control.

Third, not nearly enough people know that toes may not physically be there anymore but you can still feel them.

And finally. I really hope she gets some help. She sounds like someone who, underneath the bad-crazy, can be fun-crazy. I myself am trying to lean harder into fun-crazy and stay out of bad-crazy. I honestly hope she gets help.

11:24 AM  
Blogger Madame X said...

The idea of hickeys has always escaped me.
Why I mean....why?

12:15 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

I repeat ...why??????
I guess stating that you are truly the adult in this situation would be stating the obvious.

3:50 PM  
Blogger Notsocranky Yankee said...

She found someone as immature as her.

You shouldn't have to hear about it. Hang in there. Hopefully she'll turn things around.

7:10 AM  
Blogger terry said...

am i the only one who's had a hickey in recent years?




it wasn't intentional.

1:16 AM  
Blogger dusty said...

o my god

a hickey at 46?

LMAO..recapturing her youth? hell if I know..

12:17 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home