I Miss My Kids

As much as I'm enjoying the escape from responsibility for anyone other than myself, I miss them terribly. Here's why:

A few days after we saw the X-Men 3, I remarked on how convenient their mutations were. Like the guy who had the mutant ability to generate these wicked-looking bone spikes that slid right into his hands from his forearms. How fortunate for him, I noted, that they didn't exude from some other part of his body--like the soles of his feet.

Or his butt, my daughter suggested.

Or his nose, said my son.

So, we started coming up with some ideas of unfortunate, or simply useless, mutant abilities.

Here's the ones I remember:

• The ability to turn trees into shoes
• The ability to grow really thick back hair
• The ability to turn milk chocolaty
• The ability to turn clouds into buffalo (actually, a quite deadly ability, if you think about it)
• The ability to instantly ripen bananas
• The ability to turn any shade of blue into a slightly darker shade of blue
• The ability to turn beans into raisins
• The ability to know everyone's middle name
• The ability to always have exact change.
  

Are all 8 and 10 year olds that clever?

I doubt any of these abilities will show up in X-Men 4. I'm really looking forward to Friday.

Yeharr