Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Brain Dump

  1. My lawyer charges me eighteen bucks for an email. Eighteen bucks. And there wasn't even any good p0rn in it. It will be worth it if the divorce comes through soon.
  2. Apple's offering Safari for Windows. I've used Safari on a Mac for some time and believe me when I say what a horrible idea. If you want to know what Safari is like, look for an old verion of Firefox 1.0.1. I was going to write that this is Apple's worst idea since Newton, or even Lisa, but those were products that were ahead of the curve. This is a real bad piece of catch-up. I hope that this isn't something that's iPhone related, but I'm guessing it is.
  3. (Nölff + Fatrobot) - sarcasm = Manimal - British accent
  4. I totally stole the math bit from Nölff.
  5. My kids' school had an end-of-the-year concert. The first song the band played was identified in the program as 'When the Band Comes Marching In.' It was, I stress, an instrumental--no words were sung--but I really wanted to sing out the lyrics of this grand old piece of Americana:
    Oh, when the band
    Comes Marching in
    Oh when the band comes marching in
    Oh, Unspecified Deity, I want to be in that number
    When the band comes marching in!
    For fuck's sake--are we really living in a society where we can't even use the title of century-old folk/jazz/gospel song in school? No one was singing the words, even though I'm sure everyone knew them. Who does this thinking protect, and from what does it protect them? I'm all for separation of church and state, but I'm also for a modicum of common sense. This is a song that has deep roots in Americana, and we can't even play it in school without Bowdlerizing it?
  6. If someone wants to send me eighteen dollars, I'd be glad to email them. Hell, I'll give you a discount, and email you for fifteen.



Blogger terry said...

geez, my mom's lawyer -- in wisconsin -- charges more than 30 bucks per email!

you're a bargain.

2:48 AM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

$18? Jesus wept, not only did you deserve p0rn but also a Thai-bride...

7:51 AM  
Blogger Madame X said...

ummm...I always thought Saints referred to a team or something and not those ancient pagan gods/goddess coopted by christianity.
Silly me.

7:53 AM  
Blogger Heidi the Hick said...


are on FI-YAH today!!!!

I didn't get a word you said about the Mac/safari/iphone/lisalisacultjam thing but I did get the Nolff thing. Nolff and Fatrobot are funny. funny funny boys.

2:38 PM  
Blogger cadbury_vw said...

i'll give you a post comment for free

my lawyer charges by the hour plus materials

no extra for correspondence or anything

6:23 PM  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

Cad: My lawyer does the same. He categorizes everything by the minute, apparently.


10:16 PM  
Blogger Colleen said...

my husband said he would have charged you for the whole hour. i told him that lawyers have no soul. i might be sleeping on the couch.

11:52 PM  
Blogger fatrobot said...

alternatley fatrobot - nolff = lasagna

9:30 AM  
Blogger fatrobot said...

but lasagna x(797x-7y) / 1500(3x - 5incerdible hulk action figure) = water balloon


9:32 AM  
Blogger United We Lay said...

I think the PC police have gone a little overboard.

9:49 AM  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

Fatro: You have many maths.

UWL: While the PC police are worrying over whether or not the line art illustration of a Doctor looks 'too Jewish,' ID activists are still trying to destroy our ability to think.


9:55 AM  
Blogger United We Lay said...


9:43 AM  
Blogger Åsa said...

You should have sung the lyrics out loud! For one it’s such a catchy song and second it would have been great blogging material! But I’m sure your kids are so much happier this way…

Nölff? Nöff is Swedish for oinq (hmm… spell check did not recognise this. Isn’t oinq what the pigs say in the US?)

Big hug on Fathers day!

3:20 AM  
Blogger Nölff said...

"Nólff" is French for rad. "Nölff" is Austrian for Splendid Scientist.

It's all in the pronunciation.

I downloaded the Safari for my work PC. I can't get it to work.

9:23 AM  
Blogger Heidi the Hick said...


if you go on a Swedish safari with an Austrian scientist you get a French pig? Who says oinq?

I am just not so good with the maths.

3:22 PM  

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