Thursday, July 05, 2007

Spin and Shoot

One of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies is unavailable on youtube.

The movie is Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and the scene is the pentultimate moment in the film.

So I'll have to use words instead of pictures right now to describe it.

Butch and Sundance are eating at a little cafe in Bolivia, when a shot rings out. They've been discovered, and the local police are out in force to get them. Almost all of their guns and ammo are hanging on their horses, so Butch runs out to get it, while Sundance provides cover.

Sundance, at least in this movie, is an expert marksman, fast, and deadly, and the two men rush out to get the ammo. As Butch heads for the horses, Sundance goes out and covers him.

A bullet hits near him, and he spins and shoots, and down goes a man. Another bullet. Spin and shoot. And another. And another. And another. And Sundance spins and shoots. Diving this way, dodging that, spinning and shooting.

Spinning and shooting.

As anyone who's seen the film knows, it's not enough. There's more bullets, more targets, more of them than there is of him, and it ends badly. He was doing everything he could, and it wasn't enough. Too many targets, not enough time.

Right now, I'm trying very hard not to relate to Sundance.

It would be easy to do. I've got targets everywhere I turn. More than I think I can handle right now. And the realization that I got here through my own decisions.

Spin, shoot. Spin, shoot.

Self-pity comes easy. Playing the victim would absolve me of my role in all of this. Except that's not true. Or, I could spend my days kicking myself for getting myself into this situation--which comes even easier for me.

I'm trying to steer a third course: I'm trying to believe I'm doing enough. That I have enough in me, and enough external support that I will be able to work through this. A hard part of this is the actual asking for help. After all, Sundance didn't ask for help.

And look where that got him.

All this is my way of saying that I've got a lot on my plate right now, and so my blogging time may be even more sporadic than before. But I'm not going anywhere.

Just spinning and shooting for a while.



Blogger Snow White said...

You'll make it. You've come this far, and you're not a quitter, so you'll make it. I have faith in you!

2:26 PM  
Blogger Heidi the Hick said...

Ok but please take a breath every couple of revolutions, ok???

4:13 PM  
Blogger terry said...

god, i love that movie.

but i'm sorry you're feeling the way you are.

you DO have enough in you. you WILL work through this.

it's okay to ask for help. i have a really hard time with this myself -- a REALLY hard time -- but i've found that people are genuinely happy to help, when they can.

if there's anything i can do, holler.

6:46 PM  
Blogger sassinak said...


it's amazingly easy to get down on ourselves when times are tough but just remember... you're gotten this far!

now i have to see the movie.

11:27 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Make sure the one shot you've got, you hit.


11:08 AM  
Blogger fatrobot said...

what about david cassidy and the sundance kid?

2:47 PM  
Blogger cadbury_vw said...

it can be so completely overwhelming.

when there, your constant question has to be: will this hold together until tomorrow if i leave it?

then you ask: will i fuck myself permanently if i leave it until tomorrow?

then: does this even have to be done, or can i slough it?

if prayer or some good thoughts help - your getting a few from this direction

7:16 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Great metaphor. Good luck!

12:30 AM  
Blogger Guy Wonders said...

"Duck and roll" can be a good strategy as well. Either way, you will emerge into a stronger position. . . .

6:10 PM  
Blogger United We Lay said...

As always, if there's anything you need...

8:58 AM  

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