Wednesday, December 07, 2005

While I'm on the subject...

...what subject was that, again?

Oh, yeah. Memory. Or lack thereof.

My STBESIL* emailed the following to me. And although I am loathe to simply cut and paste stuff onto my blog, this seemed appropriate, considering the responses I have received:**

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for
it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!


P.S. I just remembered, I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN THE DRIVEWAY!!!!!!!!!


*Sister of STBEW--figger it out.
** Just wait, Daniel. I haven't had a hit in 20 years, Polanco. And Colleen: Is that why they call what a brain fart?***

***Seriously awesome pun, Colleen!


Blogger Jessica said...

Laughing at yourself is therapeutic.

Best part.

11:22 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...


6:49 AM  
Blogger Colleen said...

hey, i'm punny like that.

i hear that expression everywhere, and your post just put it into perspective!! :)

8:40 AM  
Blogger mal said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:54 PM  
Blogger mal said...

Taking ourselves too seriously is one step short of the sin of Hubris. Laughing at ourselves keeps us intellectually honest

Now for the bad news, it sounds like you have Halfzheimers....hopefully you do not go "all" the way *runs for cover*

10:57 PM  

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