Monday, March 20, 2006

Men: Take off your hats. Women: Put on your panties.

The following is lifted whole, and unedited, from the director of human resources at my division of a multinational entertaiment corporation:
You all know that our dress code isn’t unusually strict, so it should be easy to comply. Here’s my list of general dos and don’ts (also feel free to review the Dress & Appearance policy on the Infonet under Human Resources/Policies):

* Wear undergarments
* Avoid clothing that is sheer, revealing or skin tight
* Keep hemlines long enough to avoid stares and gasps from coworkers
* Avoid tops that reveal midriffs and backs or have plunging necklines


* Wear shirts that have a collar (generally)
* If wearing a collarless shirt (there are some that are appropriate), just be sure it isn’t a tee-shirt you would wear to a picnic
* No hats in the workplace (hats issued as part of a uniform are okay to leave on if you’re in one of our facilities for a short while)
That's right, folks! We have to remind our women workers to wear undies. Apparently, they like to tramp it up a bit. All we menfolk have to do is take of our hats. I'm also pleased to notice there are no restrictions on our undergarments. I think I'll celebrate by goin' commando tomorrow.

On a completely unrelated note, this headline caught my eye:

Trump’s wife gives birth to baby boy

What an interesting way to put it. Rather awkward, from my perspective. Not "Donald Trump a father again," nor "Melania Trump gives birth." I can see why they chose not to use the latter; she is, after all, merely a bauble--her job is to be eye candy.* As an international model just below the 'supermodel' stature, she's at the exact right level of celebrity for The Donald: any more famous, and she wouldn't be with him; any less famous, and he wouldn't be with her.

But what do we make of them not using the former? Since the important issue is Trump why not proclaim his fatherhood in the head? After all, he's quoted in the story as saying “I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young.”

Well, I'll take your word for it, Don. Congratulations. I'd doff my cap to you, except they won't let me wear it in the house.


*And I'm guessing her dress code has no 'underwear' rule.


Blogger Guy Wonders said...

I like the one about the hemlines and avoiding the "stares and gasps" of your co-workers.

There is far too little gasping going on in the modern workplace . . .

10:05 PM  
Blogger Notsocranky Yankee said...

Sounds like you can wear one of those Hawaiian "picnic" shirts as long as it has a collar.

I beg to differ on Trump's dresscode, although I would think it would be a 'no underwear' rule.

8:27 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I second Guy's observation.

10:04 AM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Your blog lay out has gone funny...

1:28 PM  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

Funny how? Like a clown? Do I amuse you?

There are a few more fonts invovled than I normally use, but from where I sit it looks like it should. Has anyone else noticed anything?


2:37 PM  
Blogger Notsocranky Yankee said...

It is a little funny. Like your template is gone -- just text, no profile box or links, etc. It happened to Cranky's the other day but I don't know what he did to fix it...

4:36 PM  
Blogger Notsocranky Yankee said...

Oops, correction. Your profile and links are at the bottom. It's still not the way it normally looks.

4:37 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

The Courier font (or knock-off Courier) doesn't have line wrap, so it reads like a SimpleText document with the only line breaks at the bullet points. (Using Safari, fyi)

4:56 PM  
Blogger mal said...

I can just see it when Trumps kid gets old enough to "apprentice" to the Old Man.....

"Junior...YOU'RE FIRED!"

6:12 PM  
Blogger Chai said...

What sort of place would insist on underwear! I know my place of work would be overjoyed if we coordinated sock colour.

3:41 AM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Still looks weird, content great, looking bad though...

7:59 AM  
Blogger Rowena said...

I love the "stares and gasps" too. But why just leave it at "stares and gasps"? Might as well go the whole hog and make it "stares and gasps, tongue-lolling, barking and growling, drooling, immediate need to "retire" to the bathroom ..."

7:32 AM  

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