Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Sports water?

An object lesson in 'less is more:'

For the move, I bought a bunch of refreshments for the folks who helped. One of the things I purchased was a 12 pack of 'Sports water.'

I 'm aware that I'm in a minority here, but I like the things I consume to taste like the things I'm consuming. For instance: I like turkey. I like ham. But I'm not a fan of turkey ham.

Similarly, I like my coffee coffee-flavored, not hazelnut, or french vanilla, or some other ice-cream flavor.*

And, after drinking a mango-flavored Propel, I can add that I like my water--you guessed it--water-flavored.

Remember when when you were a kid, and you'd come home all hot and sweaty from playing outside during the summer, and your mom had made a pitcher of Kool-Aid yesterday because you were hot and sweaty then too, and had put lots of ice cubes in the pitcher because the water wasn't all that cold, but then she put the pitcher with the ice cubes in the fridge, but now the ice cubes all melted, and what you drank was just this really watered down Kool-Aid, and you drank it anyway because that's all that was cold and your mom wouldn't make any more until this pitcher was finished, and it just wasn't as good as yesterdays?


Well, they bottled that and called it Propel.

It's watered down Kool-Aid.

I know corporations are a bunch of greedy bastards, but do we have to make it so damned easy for them?

"Excuse me, Mister Fornortonor, but are you suggesting we put less flavoring in our drinks, and charge more for it?"

"Yes, Mister Golwhinkie, if we repackage it and give it a nice active name, all the fitness freaks will buy it!"

And on another move-related note, my one cat still only comes out at night, after everyone else is asleep. During the rest of the day he's catatonic.

Sorry. Couldn't resist.


*although I must confess I do kindasorta like coffee-flavored ice cream...


Blogger Notsocranky Yankee said...

I also think water-flavored water that is bottled is a rip off! Unless the water is undrinkable (India), inconvenient (on airplanes) or just shitty-tasting (Cinncinnati and Florida), I don't pay for water that I can get for FREE. I was checking out some bottled water in Atlanta for my daughter's frogs, and one of them came from a town's public water supply 10 miles from our house. How is that better?

BTW, I'm drinking my coffee with french vanilla coffeemate as we speak. And as you might suspect, Cranky teases me for it. :)

6:58 AM  
Blogger Heidi the Hick said...

I just find it disturbing that the sports drinks resemble antifreeze, transmission oil, & windshield washer.

9:47 AM  
Blogger Madame X said...

That propel stuff is CRAP!!!
Makes me more thirsty...and think about it...the stuff has calories...why would anyone who has just spent 30 minutes walking off 200 calories put it back in their bodies by drinking a "fitness" drink?

Coffee should taste like coffee and come from a place where you can order "medium coffee, milk no sugar" and not have to speak another language or tip someone for making a cup to go!!!

9:52 AM  
Blogger dusty said...

Very good rant dear man. And so right on the money I had chills with the sights,sounds and tastes rushing back to me about childhood.

10:11 AM  
Blogger Colleen said...

starbucks java chip is tha jam
nuff said

11:09 AM  
Blogger mal said...

BAD joke on the varmint *L*

bottled water is an even bigger racket. Talk about pure profit! Da Kid and I stopped in our ride yesterday to get some water and gatorade. $1.39 for a quart of Water. PURE profit only cost was in packaging and shipping. Now thats creative marketing

8:07 AM  
Blogger United We Lay said...

Every few months we drive up to NYC to get coffee shipped directly from Colombia. REAL coffee doesn't need anythign added. I've noticed from my travels in Colombia that things in the States taste bland, even the fruit. Eerything's processed or genetically altered, etc. If you want to actually taste food again, buy organic.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Just had my first taste of Fresca black cherry last night, in fact. I kinda liked it. Then again, I also put seltzer water in my orange juice to a) make it last longer, b) trick myself into drinking more fluids, and b)create a teetotaler's version of a screwdriver (or a mimosa, if you prefer).

10:13 PM  

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