Monday, February 05, 2007

Aqua Teen Hunger Farce

I can't tell you how truly pissed I am that Turner agreed to foot the bill for Boston's over-reaction to an ad campaign. And it's not just because I'm a shareholder. A bunch of law-and-order metafascists go apeshit over some throwies that have been hanging around for two weeks, and a corporation has to foot the bill?

There was absolutely no reason for the reaction in Boston. None. Well, one, but it's not a good one and I'll get to it soon. Some very, very basic police work could have discovered what they were. They were up there for more than a week--possibly two. Are you telling me that Boston's finest don't patrol the harbor or check the tunnels on a regular basis? Are you telling me that not one single cop saw those things before some shmuck called 911, most likely bitching about getting the finger from a Lite-Brite? Are you telling me that no one--not one cop on the beat, when getting the phone call decided to stroll up to one of these things and, oh I dunno--TAKE A LOOK AT IT? Not a single person had the balls to say 'hey, it's just a circuit board hooked up to a battery--let's not go nuts here.'

I'm guessing that some cops did just that. I would bet my left nut that more than one beat cop did exactly that--especially the ones with teenagers who stay up too late and don't seem motivated to do anything not like i was a kid lemme tell you that.

But--and again this is only my guess, no facts to back it up--I'm guessing that someone farther up the ladder decided to hit the panic button and roll out the heavy weaponry (including, I might add, Fox News) to battle the ravaging effects of a viral marketing campaign. And their reasoning was simple:

It was marketing.

Not the viral marketing of a cult TV show. The marketing of fear.

Making this big noise over this small thing brings once again to the forefront the War on Terror. It was a win-win situation for the metafascists. Either the devices were bombs, and the squads do their thing and Save the Day, or someone gets their pee-pees whacked for fucking with the police. Either way, Fox gets its headline, and fear gets another day in the sun.

And the police state tightens its grip on the country. Because this is serious damnit. Not funny at all.

Unfortunately, the viral marketers win.

No. Recast the sentence.

Fortunately, the viral marketers win.

I don't know many people who are outraged over the placing of the displays. I guessing there are some, but none around here. However, I do know many people who have negative opinions over the way this was handled.

As long as every 'emergency' is treated like a media event, stuff like this is going to happen. Sirens will wail, lights will flash, satellite trucks will be dispatched, and the metafascists will point with outrage at yet another reason to suppress our liberties. Either it's the terrorists who love us for our freedom, or a bunch of kids daring to actually act upon those supposed freedoms.

And Turner goes along, because it's cheaper to lay out two mill than it is to take this to court. God, I wish someone in the corporation had the balls to stand up and say no. No payment, no apology. If these kids are guilty of anything, it might be a misdemeanor bill-posting violation. We'll pay that ticket. Everything else is on the city. Try and prove otherwise.

Unfortunately, it's all bottom line now. I wish Ted was back in charge.

I keep thinking about a movie I saw back in the 1980's called Something Wild. The climax of the movie takes place in a bathroom, where Ray Liotta's character is attempting to beat Melanie Griffith's character to death.

"Look what you've made me do!" he screams at her.

That's what Boston screamed at a bunch of kids promoting Meatwad.



Blogger Timmy said...

well said BP - I am with you 110%!

11:41 AM  
Blogger terry said...

here's the thing i don't understand, though: did no one in city government know about this little marketing plan? did no one have to give permission for these things to be placed around town?

and could no one at turner have notified their corporate brethren at cnn that these things weren't actually bombs, once the network started going apeshit over this?

interesting that no other city where these things turned up reacted this way.

and there's a report out this morning that one of the guys who "planted" the lite brites videotaped the bomb squad blowing one up. could HE not have said something, before it all went too far?

seems like there was a whole lot of bumbling all around.

2:14 PM  
Blogger cadbury_vw said...

blinking lights? rudely gesticulating robots?

holy terrorist haven batman!

quick, call a state of emergency


however, if i were turner, i would consider $2m to be cheap for the kind of national coverage this got with their target audience

5:38 PM  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

timmy: thanks

terry: i dunno. if all of a sudden there's up-armored cops running around carrying semiautomatic weapons, I'd probably be a little reticent to raise my hand and say something. I'm guessing that the dude heard about this just like everyone else did--on the news. By that time, with the cops in full dudgeon and most likely with a 'shoot to kill' demeanor, it's too late to say 'hey, waitaminnit...'

cad: using that logic, wouldn't fighting this thing, especially with an amused attitude, bring them even greater publicity, especiallty with their target audience?


6:33 PM  
Blogger Heidi the Hick said...

nah, I don't think you'd really bet your left nut that a few cops weren't worried about it. I think lefty is worth more to you than that.

11:22 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

You made a valid arguement. Unfortunately, some business people prefer to sweep the rotten egg smell under the mat and keep on stepping~ less of a daily hinderance and tax write off for corporate america.

11:51 PM  
Blogger Notsocranky Yankee said...

I came home from a trip to this fiasco -- luckily the mystery was solved by the time I flew into Boston.

How embarassing! I don't understand why anyone would think a bomb would have flashing neon lights on it. Isn't it supposed to be hidden? I wonder what precedent led them to think cartoon characters would be placed on a bomb?

And I agree with Heidi, keep your left nut. Unless this was hung on a doughnut shop, no cop would've noticed it...

9:24 AM  
Blogger Miss 1999 said...

I SO agree with you-- the whole situation was blown totally out of the water...

11:03 PM  
Blogger Cranky Yankee said...

I commented on this at another blog where the person writing was concerned that people were too complacent since these "devices" had been around for weeks...
................................... the same time we can't live in a state of fear.

If I had seen one of these "devices," the last thing I would have thought was "terror." I live in a part of the country, not far from Boston, where people are always doing silly shit like that. Don't even get me started on the project mayhem type stunts I pulled when I was in college and in the military...

Actually now that I think of it if I had seen one of those "devices" it would be sitting in my garage right now.

This is what happens in a culture of fear.

Fear what you really should fear and don't worry about the rest. Most if not all of us should not place terrorism in the top 50 things we should fear.

8:36 AM  

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