Sunday, May 21, 2006

Open Letters:

Dear Bloggers, Pundits, and Others Who Publish Their Thoughts on the Internet:

Proofread. Spellcheck.

For cripe's sake. I know that English is not a static language. I'm aware that there are word formations that are working themselves though common usage into some dictionaries.* I understand that there are shorthands to indicate common expressions, although IMHO they are all BS (LOL). And I can even let pass fat-fingered misstypings in comment sections during long and heated debates. But the fact that 'teh' and 'pwn' are now considered idiosyncratic and not just lazy typing rankles me no end. Leet? Leet this sux0rz! Kekekeke!

To the High-Powered, Over-Cologned, Lexus-Driving Go-Getters That Use the Same Bathroom as I Do.

Flush. We don't save that stuff.

To Kids Playing Light Sabers:

At least one of you has to be a Sith. You can't all be Jedi. Jedi don't fight each other; they work things out. Therefore, if you want to duel, someone has to go to the Dark Side.

And yes, you can too cut your own throat with a light saber.


*Although God help me, I will cry the day Websters includes 'alot' into its lexicon. There is no such word. 'Allot' means to parcel out. If you wish to indicate 'a great deal' or 'a large amount' you type a[SPACE]lot.


Blogger Jessica said...

Jedis don't even spar with each other? I know the hovering ball thing doesn't count, but don't you think we all would've like to see Yoda teaching Luke the old fashioned way?

As for spelling, yes.

12:48 AM  
Blogger Jessica said...

*would've liked* is what I meant to type, I think. So much for my own proofreading.

12:49 AM  
Blogger dusty said...

I wish there was a spellcheck on blogger's comment section..

2:51 AM  
Blogger Madame X said...

Does someone need a fiber waffer?

You seem a little cranky.

8:58 AM  
Blogger Colleen said...

que paso papi?

there really needs to be a spellcheck on the comment section. i don't know how many things i've posted with typos.

9:24 AM  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

jessica: Jedi may spar, but kids don't pretend to pretend. They're doing full-out battles.

dusty & colleen: as I stated, comments, especially typed in haste, don't bug me as much. But when you're publishing--even in a system as ethereal as the web--take the time to proofread.

madame: my bowels are fine. no waffer for me, not even a waffer-thin mint.


10:02 AM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

I am shamed to use the awful term 'alot'. May the BP have mercy on my Godforsaken soul!

2:56 PM  
Blogger Madame X said...

Just checking!
Waffer thin mint...hehehe

3:33 PM  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

DHG-any dude that walks across a whole freakin country gets a pass on spelling faux pas.

Madame--please feel free to stay all you want.

3:48 PM  
Blogger B-logger said...

I think crankiness is relative. I don't think BP is high on the cranky scale ... To get some perspective see THE cranky one. (definately mail a wafer or even a box to "Crank").

FWIW YMMV.. just an FYI



4:57 PM  
Blogger Heidi the Hick said...

The spelling thing. Yes. Irritating.

Can I link you?

7:23 PM  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...


Of course. May I do the same?


8:42 PM  
Blogger Heidi the Hick said...

Yes, Mahogany Blonde the Redheaded Pirate. Link away!

11:55 PM  
Blogger Notsocranky Yankee said...

I'll try to be more careful with my spelling. I always preview my comments -- there's usually something that needs fixing!

6:29 AM  
Blogger Balloon Pirate said...

FOR THE RECORD: The first open letter of this posting was not directed at any of the bloggers I read on a regular basis. This may sound shallow, but if you didn't pay attention to spelling and grammar, I wouldn't be reading you. At least, not with any consistency. Everyone fat-fingers it every now and again. It's the repeat offenders that raise my ire.

I apologize to anyone of you who thought this was directed to you.


6:54 AM  
Blogger United We Lay said...

I try, but do yo have any idea how hard it is to type with nails?

9:48 AM  
Blogger mal said...

what is embarassing to me is I will proofread right over a typo, several times and still miss it......gggggrrrrr

3:40 PM  
Blogger mal said...

*L* United, one of the many reasons I keep my nails short

3:42 PM  
Blogger cruisecontrolca said...

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4:23 PM  
Blogger United We Lay said...

I used to, but my husband likes them long.

9:03 AM  

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