Waiting for the Cops
The meatloaf is in the oven, and the kids are watching Disney Channel. The house is nice and warm--a stark contrast to the cold and blowing storm outside. There's some clothes to be folded in some baskets in the kitchen, but other than that, the house neat enough; cozy, even.
And on top of that, It's Valentine's Day.
A perfect day to send my wife to jail.
I called the cops. I have no idea when they'll be here, but when they do, I'll give them the information about what she did, and let it be in the hands of the law.
Earlier today, after shoveling out the driveway, I took the kids to the bank, and filled out all the information about the forgery. On two of the checks, she had written 'happy birthday.' Her birthday's February 1st.
I cried.
She called me this afternoon, and begged me to not call the cops. She told me the ex-boyfriend who threw out all of her stuff last week was going to give her the money to pay me back. Last night, she told me the ex-boyfriend that she's currently living with was going to pay me back.
She uses people as well as drugs.
Then she got mean. She told me that I had taken her kids away from her. She told me that I was poisoning their minds against her. She told me that the reason they don't respect her is because I don't respect her.
I reminded her that she was the one who left me. I shouldn't have done that. Arguing with an addict does nothing but make you crazy. I've been crazy. I don't want to be there again.
Pity, anger, denial. These are the tools of the addict.
I think that on some level, she wants me to have her arrested. This way she can blame me for all her problems.
And on top of that, It's Valentine's Day.
A perfect day to send my wife to jail.
I called the cops. I have no idea when they'll be here, but when they do, I'll give them the information about what she did, and let it be in the hands of the law.
Earlier today, after shoveling out the driveway, I took the kids to the bank, and filled out all the information about the forgery. On two of the checks, she had written 'happy birthday.' Her birthday's February 1st.
I cried.
She called me this afternoon, and begged me to not call the cops. She told me the ex-boyfriend who threw out all of her stuff last week was going to give her the money to pay me back. Last night, she told me the ex-boyfriend that she's currently living with was going to pay me back.
She uses people as well as drugs.
Then she got mean. She told me that I had taken her kids away from her. She told me that I was poisoning their minds against her. She told me that the reason they don't respect her is because I don't respect her.
I reminded her that she was the one who left me. I shouldn't have done that. Arguing with an addict does nothing but make you crazy. I've been crazy. I don't want to be there again.
Pity, anger, denial. These are the tools of the addict.
I think that on some level, she wants me to have her arrested. This way she can blame me for all her problems.
____________________
The cop just left. Doesn't look like they can arrest her. Since we're still technically married, they can't do anything. They're going to talk to the DA, but I doubt that this will end with an arrest.
What this episode has shown me, though, is that I have to get off my butt and go through with the divorce.
But tonight, after dinner, the kids and I are going to the Y and we're going to swim. That will be my valentine for the day.
yeharr
What this episode has shown me, though, is that I have to get off my butt and go through with the divorce.
But tonight, after dinner, the kids and I are going to the Y and we're going to swim. That will be my valentine for the day.
yeharr
posted by Balloon Pirate at 5:43 PM
14 Comments:
Intervention - Tell her to get well, stay well or never see you and the kids again.
so sorry for your troubles pirate.
I think you're handling this situation incredibly well.
In the end, no matter how much you care(d) for someone else, no matter the history, you have to look out for your kids and yourself.
Maybe someday STBEW will thank you, maybe she won't but your beautiful children WILL. Because you have loved and protected them whilst keeping the door open for their mother If SHE chooses to keep them safe. Isn't that more important?
Swashbuckling good will.
x
oh, MAN. this is brutal.
you're really something, pirate. she's very lucky you are who you are.
xoxo
Well done, man.
Damn, just...damn.
I understand your course of action.
I want to keep thinking about the warm cozy house and dinner in the oven and laugndry to be folded. Those are all good things. Maybe not memorable, but stable.
Invisible hugs to you and the kids.
definitely. divorce.
you have to have a leg to stand on in case this happens again!
oh god
i'm so sorry. and so sad about what's happened.
i've got nothing else
but my ear (eyes), and my emotion.
Yes, get the divorce final. It sounds like STBEW needs some tough love.
This is rough. I wish there was something I could do to help.
that sucks
can't they arrest her boyfriend? i mean, he has the money
this happened to me with my x. i moved out in a rush while he was on a bender and forgot to take my files from the cabinet. he had my credit card number, got a card and went crazy, then kept opening new accounts. i was $6K in the hole before the divorce. luckily, we had no kids and no property and TN is a drive thru window divorce wise. i tried to get the credit card companies to do something, but because we were married at the time, they did nada. luckily, after we were divorced, he kept using them and that's how i got him.
stay strong, mijo. big hugs, and get a good lawyer
How's it going man?
Tough stuff, thanks for giving me a wake up call.
I'm SO sorry to hear this. You're right, you do have to go through with the divorce. You've done all you can to do to try to help her-- now, it's up to her to do the rest. You've got to do what's right for you and your kids (and to keep yourselves safe)
Best wishes :0)
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